One Fell Swoop

I'm not going to lie, I really like words. If it had been offered as a program in my undergraduate days I may have ended up with a ridiculously useful linguistics degree. I've always enjoyed the word "fell." I have a vague almost-memory of it being used to describe some "fell beast" in a story I read as a child. It brings to mind some kind of man-beast-demon-bat thing that lives in a clock-tower. I think I'm probably referencing something but I'm not sure what.

It's also just one of those great monosyllabic Middle English root words. To me it just sounds like what it is. I love words like that. Stone is one of my favorite words. My OED has fell coming from Middle English by way of Old French and defines it as "Fierce, cruel, ruthless, terrible, destructive." There are several other definitions, several of which are considered obsolete that include really descriptive words like "keen," ""angry," "full of spirit," "shrewd, clever, cunning," and "mighty." I think if you can combine all these words in your mind that is the exact sense I have of the true meaning of "fell." It should describe something wicked, but something that demands respect because of its intelligence and power. Like the Devil. Satan is definitely "fell."

So I got to thinking about this the other day. Around [St.] Valentine's Day my local NPR station gets to selling roses through a local florist. Part of the proceeds to go the station as a donation (rhyme time!). They like to have little commercial segments with NPR listeners jabbering about they love ordering roses through NPR. One such jabberer uttered this paraphrase: "I love it because I can support NPR and get roses for my boyfriend in one fell swoop." (Italics added for dramatic effect.)

I thought: "That person has no idea what the word fell means." A fell swoop is something a harpy does to your livestock, a dragon does to the villagers, the Devil does to our very souls! At least it's what a falcon does to a pigeon. It is not what you do when you buy roses for your boyfriend at [St.] Valentine's Damn Day!

Except that it is. That's the thing about language. The phrase "one fell swoop" comes to us by means of the Bard (well, he probably ripped it off) and even though right there he's using it to describe a "hell-kite" which I imagine is something quite fell, and...oh...Macduff's whole family being murdered!!!!....the meaning of the phrase has morphed over time to just describe something that happens quickly. It has truly become idiomatic if we can understand the statement only in the context of buying flowers and not call to mind sentient carnivorous beasts. And again, that's the thing with words. Generally they are there for us to be understood. So if most people understand "one fell swoop" to refer to grocery store shopping or buying long-stemmed roses then that is exactly what "one fell swoop" means.

Now you know it means something else, too. Maybe you'll think about it the next time you "kill two birds with one stone."